What We've Learned in Our 6 Months Here...

Déjà vu? Feels like we just did our one-month post. But here we are in December, 6 months after we got here. This has been an amazing six months that, like everything wonderful, has flown by. The past couple of weeks we've been working on a list of things we've learned here. It’s a list of both superficial and more serious things but they’ve all undoubtedly affected our world view and daily perspective. Each thing has played a role, whether it be small or large, in shaping who we’ve grown to be during our time here. 

Let's start with the serious...

• We've learned about the power of generosity and putting someone else’s needs before your own. It’s interesting, there were times we’ve felt disrespected here. But there were mostly times we've felt so loved. People were so quick to welcome us and show us that our happiness was important to them. Whether it be our new Chinese friends giving Charlotte thoughtful gifts for her birthday, or our students' parents giving us their bikes. There are so many things that Chinese people do that may seem rude (pushing relentlessly on the subway, almost running you over in the street). But this is all cultural and overall we've found all of our Chinese friends to be incredibly kind, helpful and generous.
• China is incredibly safe, but also incredibly unsafe depending on how you measure safety. We've never felt like we're in danger (okay, maybe biking to school some days...). No person has acted in a threatening way towards us and there is (to our knowledge) virtually no street violence. We can only recall a few news pieces about violence in Beijing. Two were about foreigners getting stabbed outside stores, another about a terrorist attack in Tiananmen Square. Hearing these stories of course we were shocked and horrified. But stepping back the violence doesn't really compare to the violence in Boston, or any other American city where homicides happen frequently (I just read there were 39 homicides in Boston to date this year..awful). We're amazed by how safe we feel all the time, even walking alone at night. It relates to a conversation Charlotte had with our Chinese friend on the way to our Buddhist retreat. During this conversation, Charlotte asked her if there are any parts of the city we should avoid and she laughed at her. Charlotte told her about the gun violence in the neighborhood she worked in last year (Dorchester) and she was horrified. Although she doesn’t believe gun ownership should be a freedom, this conversation brought her to speak about the lack of freedom that Chinese people have. If you take freedom into account when measuring safety, Chinese people aren’t safe. People are arrested every day for posting controversial things on the internet and are robbed of knowledge due to “The Great Firewall.” Then of course there’s the health, from the toxic air pollution to lack of clean water...China is environmentally unsafe.
• We’ve learned a lot about patience here. It’s impossible not to be patient in China. Whether it be pushing your way onto the subway, standing for two hour subway rides, taking over triple the time to be understood or to understand someone, waiting hours for clean water or electricity. Everything is twice as hard here, we’ve definitely become more patient along the way.
• It's hard to phrase this in the right way but we’ve learned a lot about the power of the human connection and nonverbal communication. I think many people assume Chinese people are so different from Americans and that Chinese culture is nearly the complete opposite of American culture. We've realized that although so much of the culture is different, with real love and caring there’s no cultural difference that can prevent a meaningful connection. Our Chinese friends and co-workers have undoubtedly had vastly different experiences than we have and have different beliefs, but that hasn’t stopped us to becoming so close to these people and coming to care so much about them. Even our co-workers who we can’t fully communicate with (which is most of them), we feel so connected to. There really is a universal language of love and kindness that has enabled us to feel bonded to people we have barely had verbal communications with. We've learned that the most important communication is nonverbal; actions, facial expressions, etc. all mean more to a relationship than we realized before. The connection is there even though the language is not.
• We've learned how easy it is to adapt to a place so foreign than the one you know. These past 6 months we’ve had a lot of challenges and have had to adapt to many oddities, things we never thought we’d get used to (i.e. squatty toilets, jampacked subways, different working styles). But what seemed so foreign to us in June is now comfortable. I think we owe a lot of that to our good attitudes. We are both lucky in that we’ve had challenging experiences in the past that have left us both with a positive outlook on life. We both have been able to see the learning and growth experiences in the challenges we’ve faced and have been able to find joy in the little things.
• We've come to truly grasp and acknowledge how blessed we are. Blessed with freedom, stability, opportunity (the list goes on and on). Things that so few people have.
• We've learned a lot about Chinese educational approaches and the cultural values behind these approaches. From our classes and training we may have been a bit closed minded when thinking about educational approaches without even realizing it. Generally, Chinese education values memorization and perfection. In the U.S., creativity and critical thinking are valued and if you make a mistake, it's okay. Although we can't accept the lack of creativity and critical thinking taught in schools here, being here we've realized that Chinese educators must be doing something right. Our students are so advanced and such fast learners. They take learning time more seriously than most of the students we had in America and seem to be more engaged. When we first got here we were very quick to call some of the things the school and teachers did inappropriate, but now we're not sure what to think. It may not be a matter of what is good vs. what is bad, rather what is right for a particular culture. For example, critical thinking isn’t valued here China, rather it could get you in trouble and therefore is it “bad” that these kids aren’t getting this training? If China wants to continue to develop and really become a world power then they need more innovation, and to have more innovation, they need people who are innovative and thus, the educational approach here needs to change (the educational approach needs to place value on fostering critical thinking and creativity). The U.S. has some of the lowest test scores of any developed nation in the world, maybe focusing more on memorization and disciplined learning wouldn’t be so bad (I never thought I’d say that). It’s been really interesting to observe the differences in educational approaches and analyze how that lines up with cultural values and economical implications. We still have a lot of thinking and learning to do about this. Hopefully more of this will come out on the research project we will be conducting in the Spring comparing American and Chinese educational approaches. 
  We've learned so much about Chinese politics and culture. We're fascinated by the censorship, approach to the environmental issues, overall collectivist values, the list goes on and on. Ask us about this while we're home! 
  
  
  Now for some of the more superficial (but still important!) things we've learned:
  
  


• Real Chinese food is so different from American Chinese food...and we like it better! From hot pot to jiaozi to real scallion pancakes...Chinese food is GOOD even though there are no fortune cookies.
• How to dodge spit on the sidewalk. Seriously. We’ve called the sound of spitting the official soundtrack of Beijing. All day every day..spitting, spitting, spitting. Since spitting seems to be a favorite pastime (and some days I don’t blame them, with the bad air we get a lot of "gook" in our throats too) it’s important that we've learned how to avoid stepping on it.
• How to successfully use a squatty toilet. Our first day when we realized our school had no western toilets we had a little freak out (trying to use it and failing resulted in hysterical laughter). We avoided going at school for some time but now we're not phased at all.
• How to creatively satisfy our appetite. China is seriously lacking any of the foods that we crave, or we lack the right appliances to make this food (no microwave, oven or toaster). But we’ve gotten creative and have aced making a stovetop fulfill all our cooking needs!
• How to speak some Chinese! In a way we're disappointed we don’t know more by now but considering that we barely have any free time to teach ourselves we know quite a bit! Hopefully with our new Fosetta Stones (fake Rosetta Stone...) we’ll be able to learn faster during our second half here.
• That throwing up is really not a big deal. It's weird. Every day our students throw up. The vomit is quickly mopped up and the student is shoved back in his/her chair or even worse, is getting more food shoved down his or her throat.
• The power of hot water. No one here drinks cold water. Even at the gym we see people drinking tea. It seems to be the solution to every problem, and we’ve been pretty healthy, so maybe it works. On that note, we’ve also learned how to make a mean glass of tea. Whether it’s green, oolong, or our recent favorite, pu-er, we got it covered.
• We quickly learned that pedestrians don’t have the right of way. This is normal to us now, even to the point that if a car seems to be letting us go at a crosswalk we get angry...
• How to bargain. Wow when we first got here we hated it! We felt guilty and now we’ve realized it’s cultural and weird if you don’t bargain. Now we embrace it and (most of the time) are fully comfortable doing it.
• How to use chopsticks! Our chopstick skills were weak when we first got here. Now we're experts.
• How amazing KTV is! KTV (karaoke) is a favorite Chinese pastime. Any time of the day people love it and have absolutely no reservations belting out their favorite song in front of complete strangers. It helps us really embrace singing loudly for all to hear. 
• How to convert RMB to dollars quickly. 
• That elderly Chinese people are the most active age group in China. Every day, whether it be 9am or 9pm, we see large groups of elderly Chinese people dancing and exercising in public places. It's great.
• ...How quickly time passes! We cannot believe that it's already been 6 months. We are so thankful that we agreed to the year rather than just 6 months. We're not through with this adventure just yet! But we are definitely ready to come home for a refresher and to spend time with all of you. See you all in less than 48 hours!